The Irony in Blaming the Child
Children are not born evil and therefore a child who has been raised in a nurturing environment with two loving parents and with appropriate limitations, will for the most part, grow up to be a functional, productive member of society.
When a child is raised in a less than ideal environment (i.e. dysfunctional home) and begins exhibiting signs of a mental disorder, the parent(s) may seek help from mental health professionals to treat their child. However, most professionals are reluctant to place the blame or burden of the child's current situation onto the parent(s). This burden should not rest entirely on the child because in many cases, it is the parent(s) who have directly or subtly created the problem in the child.
It is much easier to put the blame and onus on the child than to place it where it belongs - the parents. Not to say the child be extricated from all accountability or duty, but rather, to ease their burden and to put what has been a perverse wrong, back to right.
Many children and teens considered as “evil” or “lost causes”, break down in tears when speaking of their broken families and in fact carry an unjust burden into adulthood and (in most cases) until death. Not many get the help and treatment they so desperately need.
A popular U.S. news station interviewed a call girl who had been involved with a high ranking New York politician. The only time this call girl cried or showed strong emotion during the interview is when she was speaking of her father who she barely knew. Anyone with a little common sense would have realized that there is unprocessed pain in her life. Her so-called profession as a call girl and being involved in older men, was her way of recycling this pain over and over. However, when an analyst (a psychiatrist) came on to discuss this young lady's motives, she completely glossed over that point! The psychiatrist did have plenty of contemptuous commentary; not at all constructive.
As parents, our lack of insight, compassion, courage and honesty to look at the damage we have done to our kids is a detriment to their wellbeing, our future grandchildren and generations beyond. Not that we should be riddled with guilt, but more importantly: what are we going to do about it?